New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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