shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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