Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
