my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
