I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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