You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
