bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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