will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
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