I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
