I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That accounts for only three of the penises
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Damn victory sex feels great
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
