Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
