I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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