I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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