dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
