im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
