i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
