she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
