Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
