You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
