addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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