i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
