I cannot find my penis.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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