my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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