how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
lol hangovers are for mortals.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
