I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
