the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
