So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
