I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
