I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
