the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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