please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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