next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
