i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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