He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
