So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
