You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
