Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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