two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
