so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
