Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
