we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
