That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
