i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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