# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
