I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
