you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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