Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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