i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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