fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
