We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
