I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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