my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm too high and old for this...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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