i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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