I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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